August 9, 1999
I am a naÔve, young, intelligent black female who pretends to be so hard and unemotional. But the game is getting old and tired. And I donít feel like playing anymore. This entry makes little sense to anyone, but I donít care. Iím in ďthatĒ mood again. I was feeling pretty good, but after sitting here for three hours Iím feeling melancholy. Like something is missing. Oh, this is hard to explain but Iím going to keep writing.
Right now the idea of running away keeps popping in my mind. I donít know why. Well, yes I doÖ Iím just not happy in Philadelphia. And itís not like Iíll run away from anything, I am grown and free to do as I please. Iím not sure another city or town will change my melancholy mindset but I am long over due for a change of scenery. Perhaps another country would be better. Iíve always wanted to visit France and Australia. The only thing holding me back is school. I gotta graduate. Just three more years and Iím outta here. My future looks promising; the hard part is coping with this wack ass reality of now. Blasť! Thatís the word for today.